Tonight - September 1984

Remember 1974?
Back when all David Bowie wanted was to adapt George Orwell’s ‘1984’ into a Ziggied-up musical?
The end result was ‘Diamond Dogs’, a crackin’ album. 10 years later ‘Tonight’ was everything ‘Diamond Dogs’ wasn’t. The phenomenal success of ‘Let’s Dance’ and the resulting tour transformed Bowie into a mainstream pop commodity once more, which apparently is where the cash was in the early 80’s. I was looking forward to this album because I like a bit of 80’s cheese and I loved the last batch of singles.
But ‘Tonight’ feels rushed out to feed the market. And boy do the songs suck!

What’s Good
The album opens well with ‘Loving the Alien’. As songs about religious intolerance go it’s not at all bad, although I’d take a radio mix over the 7 and a half minute album cut any day of the week. Talk about out staying your welcome, SHEESH!
‘Blue Jean’ is a pretty good pop song. Albeit one with more saxophone then I personally enjoy.
Interestingly these are the only tracks on the album that are solely credited to Dave-oh. Maybe it would have been smarter to release a double a-side and spare everybody concerned a whole album?

What’s Bad?
I guess the Bow-ster was having a hard time writing songs at this point because the rest of the tracks are covers, old songs from Iggy Pop’s ‘Lust for Life’ (which of course Ol’ D.B. produced) and one ‘collaboration’. The collective result is a reggae album. I’ve said it all before but it bears repeating: hands up who wants reggae from David Bowie?
Where did all the hands go?
Nothin’ wrong with reggae, but it’s something the man just do not do well.

And did I mention there’s a Tina Turner duet?



Leiber and Stoller cover ‘I keep forgettin’ ‘ was voted worst song of all time by one Bowie fansite (the seemly defunct teenagewildlife.com). Which seems a little unfair when you consider most of the tracks on ‘Young Americans’.
But it seems like a downright injustice when you listen to the cover of Brian Wilson’s Beach Boys gem ‘God Only Knows’. The Bowie version is so, so bad. It kills the gentle beauty of the song with over the top BVs and a horn section. It’s so bad that I broke a golden rule of ‘two thousand and Bowie’ and vowed never to listen to it again during the very first hearing. I’m telling you, it actually manages to tarnish the original. Dave-Oh hasn’t sounded this dreadful since he covered ‘Across the Universe’.

How many good tracks? 2 out of 9
How many evil tracks that suck the joy out of life? 1 out of 9
How many highly embarrassing examples of the worst of 80’s pop trash? 6 out of 9

Bowie-o-meter: 10 Ziggys - all looking shame faced. That’s 10 for every good song and minus 10 for every act of musical sacrilege.

So there you have it, ‘Tonight’: highly regrettable and mostly forgettable. NEXT!

The alternative Let's Dance

If post-disco-white-boy-funk isn't your cup of tea, you might enjoy these versions of the first 3 killer tunes from 'Let's Dance'.

First up:
'Modern Love' gets the haunting slide guitar and girly vocal treatment from The Last Town Chorus



And now for the original Iggy Pop version of 'Little China Girl'.



Last but by no means least, my favourite of the 3:
M. Ward's acoustic folk take on 'Let's Dance' as featured in the fantastic New Zealand indie flick 'Eagle Vs Shark'.

Let’s Dance – April 1983

After all that ‘Berlin trilogy’ stuff (yawn) our chum David seems to have his sights set firmly on being a global pop phenomenon in 1983. So he hooked up with Disco Legend (or should that be ‘Disco Leg End’ by ’83?) Nile Rodgers to unleash ‘Let’s Dance’ on an unsuspecting world. The single rocked a million dance floors and the album proved to be his biggest global hit since ‘Station to Station’ in 1976. The title track is still an iconic groove, but how does the rest hold up 25 years later?
Well, for an album with an open invitation to dance for a title it’s surprisingly down beat…..

What’s Good
2 words: MODERN FREAKIN’ LOVE!
Wait, is that 3 words or 2 words with a little gramma 2.0?
Either way, ‘Modern Love’ is the bendy parts on a bee’s leg. It is the Wrath of Khan. It is finding you’ve learnt Karate when you thought you were waxing an old man’s car. It is a single mum scribbling in a café all day only to find she has written the biggest seller in the history of children’s literature. It is your best friends baby daughter.
Well maybe not. But it’s good. It’s really really good.
Okay so it’s cheesey. But cheesey-like-good-cheesey, not cheesey-like-bad-cheesey.

‘China Girl’ is a good little pop song. Plus it’s nice that the Bow-ster put it on this album just so Iggy Pop could continue eating, (or so the story goes).

I really like ‘Let’s Dance’ but I’ve heard is so many times growing up that it’s impossible to dissect what makes it good. Just like ‘Space Oddity’ and James Bond movies on a bank holiday weekend. It should have it’s own English Heritage blue plaque.

‘Without you’ is a pretty nifty tune and was a single in some countries.

What’s Bad?
Everything else. ‘Richoet’ is a song of 2 halves: it starts out decent enough but becomes another bout of flippin awful Bowie reggae. Who would ever dance to this?
‘Shake it’ is more upbeat but pretty naff. The other 2 tracks are just forgettable filler.
And I could have done with out 7 and a half minutes of the title track, ta.

How many Good tracks? An uninspiring 4 out of 8.

Bowie-o-meter: 50 Ziggys.
10 for every good song, an extra 5 for ‘Modern Love’ and an extra 5 for being the first Bowie album this year that my wife let me play in the car.

There’s nothing wrong with calling your album ‘Let’s Dance’ and filling it with slightly dour songs. But what is disappointing is how forgettable most of this album is, especially when compared to the first 3 “killa choons”.
Are these really the best 8 songs he could come up with at the time?
If so, wouldn’t it have been better, artistically speaking, for Ol’ Dave-oh to wait until he had a few more songs you could hum?
‘Let’s Dance’ is yet another Bowie album with some brilliant obvious singles but very little else in it’s favour. Sadly as it was a platinum seller, he didn’t learn a thing from this disappointing album. As we’ll see with his next long player: ‘Tonight’.

Christiane F. – April 1981

The Bow-sters next release isn’t really a proper album. It was released as a tie in with the movie of the same name, which tells the true story of a young drug addict and Bowie fan in 70’s Berlin. Dave-0h even makes a cameo as himself.

The album’s two songs of interest are a version of ‘Heroes’ which is mostly sung in German and a natty live version of ‘Station to Station’.

The rest of the album features the best songs from ‘Station’, ‘Low’, ‘Heroes’ and ‘Lodger’, making it a nice little retrospective of the years that Ol’ D.B. was either influenced by or working in Berlin.
Track listing wise it’s “All Chilla’ and No Filla’ ”, making it every German’s favourite Bowie album. And a pretty good purchase for anybody unfamiliar with this period of his work and not to sure where to start.